My confession
by MookieRoo
Summary: Tori is dating Jade but her parents don't know she is Gay. She decides to tell them but she doesn't know how they will react. Will her relationship suffer after confronting her parents? / JORI - Jade / Tori. VERSION ESPAÑOL TAMBIÉN DISPONIBLE EN MI PERFIL.
1. The Letter

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story. **

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It's been 2 months since Jade and I started our relationship. It took so much time, fighting and so many tears until Jade became my friend and one day finally accepted her feelings for me and asked me to be her girlfriend.

Now, I'm the happiest girl in the world, Jade is incredible and we really love each other.

I would like to be with her more, to share her with my family, to show her off, because I am proud of her and that's what everyone that's straight does when they are in a relationship. Why not me?

I see my cousins come home with their girlfriends or boyfriends and they are welcomed, they laugh with my parents, they sit at our table, they hold hands in front of everyone and I… I hide; I hide Jade!

I hate feeling like this. I walk on eggshells every time my Mom is around and Jade calls, because I have to be careful with what I say. No baby, love, princess, beautiful or any other nicknames Jade lets me call her when we are alone. No 'I love you' when we say goodbye. I hate doing this!

If only I knew they are going to accept me, but who knows. I've heard stories about kids being thrown out of their houses. What would be my future if that happened? I would lose my family and I can't bear the thought of ever existing without them around.

But I have heard them taking about Gay people and how it's wrong.

I'm just so unsure they will love me if I come out to them but living this way it's becoming unbearable.

My mood has changed so much, so have my grades. My relationship is there but I see how Jade looks at me every time my parents are around and I don't want her to think I'm embarrassed of us, of her.

This is who I am, and I'm not going to change.

Maybe everything would be easier if I didn't have to tell them personally, maybe if I write them a letter I can explain to them how I truly feel. I mean I can't face them, I can't just tell them, what if they don't want to accept it? What if they hate me? What if they… don't ever want me around anymore? I can't take that as my last memory of them.

I'll write a letter and let it do the work for me, maybe like that they will have some time to think before I have to face them.

**2 hours later**

It wasn't an easy letter to write. I made so many drafts, but it's finally finished. I write it by hand because I don't want it to be a cold letter; I want them to know it's me who is behind it, to feel me in it.

I put the letter in an envelope and leave it on the table with 'Mom & Dad' written on the front, the table where I know they will have breakfast soon and then I leave the house, it's very early. Jade is right outside to take me to school, I haven't told her what I did, just to pick me up early, I don't want her to talk me out of it.

**The letter**

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know this may come as a surprise, but I have something to say to you that I've been holding back for 17 years.

Well, I'm Gay… yes, Gay as in Lesbian.

Surprise!

I know is not funny and it must come as a confusing statement from someone you thought you really knew well.

No, this isn't a joke... No it isn't a game... and yes I'm sure.

I've been as sure today as when I was probably 5.

I know you wonder how such a young girl could ever know if she is gay, but I always knew. I even wondered if I was born right or not, at that age you don't understand concepts like gay or straight, but you know somehow you don't fit like other kids. You are just different.

Later you grow up and you realize what you are; you of course deny it at all cost. This can't be happening to you. Everyone says it's hormones, and you go along... it will pass.

Then it doesn't. In fact it becomes more evident and hard to deal with, so you think about every possibility. You either are strong enough to admit that you're gay or you hide.

Well, I chose to hide, I have already decided that I wasn't going to have a family, I knew I couldn't. Remember I always told you, I wasn't going to get married and that I wasn't going to have any kids? Well, I know you thought it was just a saying, but it wasn't.

I decided that if I was going to hide my sexuality, at least, I wasn't going to betray myself and live a straight live with some man.

To stay in the closet is a decision you make, in fact the only one you ever make. I was born this way and NO you don't have anything to do with this. It just happened.

Believe me, I've tried to change but I couldn't, no one drove my to this or told me it was FUN. In fact this has been a burden all these years, no one choses such a difficult life. I just wanted to be loved by you. Not to be distanced or rejected, see... you are the best part of me.

I wished so many times I would get a clue about what you feel about the subject, but it has just made me more afraid and so, along went the years and now I'm older and still hiding from you... from myself.

I think is time, even if I lose it all, because I can't pretend anymore. It gets to me so easily now, every comment people make, every myth they have, they don't even care that we exist in this world, that we live so close and yet so far.

We are your kids, your siblings, your cousins, you nieces or nephews, your friends.

We are not degenerated, or perverts, we live our lives, we work hard, we are "honest" people.

We exist, here, next to you!

I wonder what you think of me now; did I change in your mind? Did I stop existing? Did you lose a daughter? Will you love me again?

I hope that you can still see your kid in me. I haven't changed... I just came out.

Love you, Tori

**Later at School**

I'm really nervous and Jade notices it, she takes me to the Janitor's Closet and asks me if I'm okay.

"Babe did something happen at home? I'm starting to worry."

"It's nothing Jade, I'm just nervous."

"Tori just tell me, we can deal, you know that if your parents find out and take it badly my house will be your home."

"I know Babe, your Mom was very kind when she mentioned that, but I just need my parents to love me and accept me," I take a deep breath. "I sort of came out to them today."

"What? Oh my God Tori, what happened?"

"Nothing yet, I wrote them a letter and left it on the table."

"God Tori, is that why you wanted to come to school that early? So you wouldn't have to face your parents?"

"I know you think that this subject should be discussed personally, but I couldn't okay, I'm not you and my parents aren't as cool with this as yours."

"Tori, what if they have questions? They will wonder and look for answers themselves, answers that could be wrong. This way of doing things could have bad consequences for you."

"I know, but I wasn't brave enough to talk to them and look at their eyes as I disappoint them, as I become dead to them… Jade I just can't lose them," I can't hold back the tears any longer and I start to cry inconsolably. I feel nervous and broken inside.

"Come here," Jade takes me by the waist and tenderly holds me close to her and consoles me.

"Maybe you just weren't ready yet, you didn't need to do this today"

"I couldn't lie to them any longer, I couldn't breath in that house anymore."

"It will be okay, you and I will be fine and if it goes bad, I want you to know that you are not alone."

"Thank you," I finally whisper between sobs.

"Now come on, we have to get that pretty face cleaned up before we go to class," she leans towards me to kiss me. Jade may not admit it, but she's a pretty sweet girlfriend. Something that she only shows when we are alone.

We head to the bathroom and I quickly wash my face, luckily we are alone. I look up at the mirror and admire my sorrow, my eyes are red from all the crying and my head hurts a little. Jade embraces me from the back resting her chin on my shoulder as we see our reflection.

"You have no idea how much I love you," she whispers as she starts rocking me in her arms.

I narrow my eyes and smile, at this time only the two of us exist. I feel peace and relief, as I never thought I could have. Jade is the person who gives me strength to continue.

Instead of returning an _I love you_ I turn my face to kiss her but right then we feel someone enter the bathroom and we part immediately, take our things and walk towards the classroom.

On our way out Lane meets us at the hall and asks me to go with him to his office.

What could he want with me?

"It's okay Jade, please go to class, Tori will be okay."

Jade doubts at first, but eventually nods and slowly let go of my hand.

I walk into Lane's office and see my parents right in front of me with my letter on the desk.

_Oh my God! I can't, I just can't face them._

"Tori, it's okay, please come inside," Lane beckons me to enter.

I immediately look down, I can't face them, this is probably worse than I ever imagined.

I step in insecure and Lane makes me sit on the couch in front of them. I have been to this office several times but now it feels smaller, and I feel cornered by the situation. My hands shake and I have a gnawing emptiness inside me.

I still look to the floor; I don't want to see their disappointment.

"Tori, your parents have come to school so we could have a talk about the letter you left for them this morning."

"Mhm," I swallow loudly trying to control my emotions.

"Honey…" Dad starts speaking but he stops, like he's fighting to say what he really means.

"I'm not going to lie and say this wasn't a bit of a surprise… I guess that in the bottom of our hearts we wanted something different for you."

I feel a sharp pain running through my chest and tears start quietly coming from my eyes as I grab my forehead with my hands. I don't want them to see me cry.

"Baby, you… you've had a couple of boyfriends in the past and we always thought…" Mom sighs deeply. "I guess what I'm trying to ask is if… there is a girl in your life now and… if that's the reason you felt you needed to open up to us."

I stay quiet. Truth is I wasn't expecting for them to come to school, much less for them to ask if I'm in a relationship.

"Tori, this is a safe place for you to talk to your parents and be honest about your feelings," Lane assures me.

I finally look up at them. My Mom had been crying and my Dad has a really concerned look on his face. I look down again.

"Yes"

"Oh my God," Dad whispers but I can clearly hear him.

I can't control my tears anymore and start crying really loud, I can't stop, I start to lose control.

Everyone stays quiet as I cry inconsolably. What can I say? I don't want to lie anymore, but don't know how they will take my relationship with Jade.

"Mr. and Mrs. Vega, Tori is a girl that has always excelled in everything she does, I know she is a great student here, for what I have seen she is a great friend and also a good sister. I believe that she must be a great daughter as well."

"She is, she always has been," Dad says.

"Tori, I know that this must have been really hard for you these past… I don't know, years since you realized you are… Gay… but as much as this was difficult for you to come to terms with, your Dad and I also have difficulties with it"

I continue crying without saying a word.

"Your Mom and I talked about this before coming here and also discussed it with Mr. Alexander, we want you to know that even if this is hard to accept for us, you are our daughter and we won't close our doors to '_you'._"

What does that mean? _'To me'_ do they mean that I'm not allowed to see Jade? I don't want to ask, I don't want to know.

"Tori, who is the girl?" Mom asks.

I just shake my head in denial.

"Why don't you want to let your parents know who your girlfriends is?" Lane asks me in awe.

"Because if I tell them they won't let me see her," I answer almost whispering.

There is silence again; too much of it. I just want to run out of here. Avoid my parents to make a decision that could get me away from Jade.

"We need to know," Dad says in a demanding tone.

"No"

"How can you asks us to accept you, if you can't trust us enough to tell us who you are dating?" Mom asks.

"I won't stop seeing her… I love her."

I raise my eyes just to see my Dad with an angry expression on his face as he breaths deep.

"What do you expect us to do Tori? To welcome you and _that girl_ in our house, just like that?" Dad says to me losing his temper.

"Why not? You let Trina bring her boyfriends home! Don't I deserve the same?" I'm frustrated by what my Dad just said.

"We also let your boyfriends in the house Tori, but this is different," Dad replies raising his voice.

"I never really liked them; I just wanted to feel normal in front of your eyes, that's why I had boyfriends… you, I was trying to make you happy, while I was miserable!" I also raise my voice.

"So I lied and betrayed myself with those boys you welcomed to your house with open arms, yet you won't let me be with the GIRL that brings joy to my life, the one that loves and takes care of me, the one that offered me her heart… that's so hypocrite of you."

"Tori, Mr. Vega, we are all here to have a civilized talk about this, please let's just talk to your parents calmly," Lane tries to relax the mood in the room.

"I don't know if I can see my daughter with another girl. I'm sure that I won't be able to stand _that girl_ kissing her or holding her hand."

"Your daughter is right here, you could at least address me as if I exist."

"Fine! I don't want to see you with another girl, I can't," Dad says harshly.

"David stop!" Mom finally talks.

"Tori, your Dad and I have to talk privately for a second, may you please wait outside with Mr. Alexander for a Moment?"

Lane motions me to the door and I follow him outside. This is not going well at all. I begin to feel that doing this was a mistake.

"Tori, I know this might seem tough right now, but it will change with time. It's true what they say you know, It does get better."

"How can you know Lane? They hate me."

"They don't hate you and I know because I once came out to my parents as well. At least yours wanted to resolve their doubts with you."

"Lane, I didn't know," I try to apologize.

"Tori, parents most of the times need time to process all that has changed with this news. They do have a mourning period even if you are still alive. Because the dreams they had for you died. They now have to adjust their expectations and that will take time, but it will happen and you will be able to slowly integrate your life with Jade to your family life."

"And what if they forbid to be with Jade?"

"Don't think about that just yet, the fact that they are here willingly, shows their love for you. Make sure to tell them how you feel and what is be important for you, coming from them."

Mom opens the door and gestures us to come in.

"Tori, I have talked to your Dad and we have come to a decision on this matter."

Mom turns to Dad and signals him with her eyes to start talking. He sighs and takes his time to talk.

"I would hate to… lose you over this. You say this is who you are… then we have to start processing it now," Dad stops for a second and drinks some of the water from the glass in front of him.

"We need to meet this girl, you may bring her today at dinner to the house, but Tori… you lied to us. I don't know how I would have reacted 5 years ago, but the fact that I know now that my daughter had this big secret and never trusted to come to us, breaks my heart."

"You know what the punishment for lying is, so you are grounded for a month. As for us beginning to accept this girl, we need to know who she is."

I swallow big; I don't know what I should do. What if they freak out and never let me see her again?

"You must promise me you will not treat her badly and that you won't forbid me to see her… I don't want to lose her."

"Baby, we are not going to push your girlfriend away, but we need to know who she is," Mom asks kindly.

I wipe the tears from my face and look at both of them.

"It's Jade."

"Jade?" Both of them ask at the same time.

I see a small smile draw in Dad's face. He looks at Mom.

"I'm not going to say I'm trilled, but it does make a lot of sense," Dad says kind of relieved, I don't understand.

"You… are not mad?"

"Honey, your Dad and I have noticed that you two finally developed a friendship. We talked the other day and were happy to know that you guys were finally respecting and caring for each other instead of you crying around because of her," Mom explains.

"Does she treat you right, you can tell me, I didn't bring my gun," Dad jokes.

"Yes, she is not the mean girl you knew at the beginning, she is sweet and she loves me."

"We will see about that. For now, I'm just glad that… she makes you happy."

"Mom, Dad, I never wanted to disappoint you, I tried really tried but I just didn't want to lie anymore. I want to live and be happy, I want to have what everyone has, because I just don't understand why everyone get's to show their love and I have to hide it."

Dad looks at me sad.

"Baby, you are not any less than anyone else, not because of who you are or because of who you date. Please don't misunderstand our concern and our confusion with disappointment," he says seriously.

"We are very proud of you, all we ask is for you to please understand that we need to process this and we need to ease into this new reality. It's going to take time and patience on your part, but we will catch up, okay?"

"Okay" I answer; I wasn't expecting that little speech, it was so calming, I can finally breath.

"Well, I believe that everything is going well, I urge you to please come to me if you need to talk again with a counselor and Tori my doors are always open for you if you feel you need to talk. Now how about a hug," Lane tells us three.

Mom quickly stands up, so does Dad they embrace me in a hug and I start crying again I'm such a mess, a happy mess.

I go back to class and my parents go home, they had taken the day off to talk to me.

As soon as I walk out I get dragged in the Janitor's Closet.

"Trina? What are you doing?"

"How did it go? Are you okay?" Trina asks concerned.

"Wait, what? Do you know?"

"Who do you thing found your letter?"

"But, you… you read it?"

"Yes, but I didn't need to. I already knew."

I open my eyes big and freeze. What is she talking about? How did she know?

"You two are not very cautious, I've seen you two kissing and holding hands."

I'm left without words, Jade and I always looked around to avoid Trina.

"I found your letter and waited for them to read it in front of me. Dad lost it and Mom was really sad and angry," she pauses for a second.

"Words were said and I yelled at them that they should think before talking to you about it. I also told them how easy it would be to lose you if they didn't react as adults, mentioning if they haven't watch the news," Trina confesses.

I can't believe she somehow imagined that I could hurt myself. I always hid very well.

"Trina I would never think… well, I wouldn't ever really go through it."

"Tori, I couldn't take those chances, I don't want to lose you, you are my baby sister and I will protect you."

"What did they say about that?"

"They got really quiet and started talking calmly about what it all meant. They asked me how have I seen you lately and if I thought that you could go through with it."

"What did you say?" I ask with grief, I can't believe they had this conversation and they didn't mention it in Lane's office. Trina stays silent a few seconds, she seems to be debating internally to say to me.

"Tori about two years ago I remember seeing you so sad; you went to the bathroom and stayed there hours, I started to worry and then you came out with a small cut, you said you fell asleep on the tub and that you 'accidentally' hurt yourself," my sister finally admits how she knew.

I close my eyes, of course I remember that night, it was one of the worst of my life.

"I knew then that you had tried and I know I should have said something but I didn't want to add more pressure on you. I also started watching you closely."

I would like to give her an explanation, but I can't say a word. I was surprised that she knew.

"That depression you had went away as soon as you got into HA so, I stopped worrying so much, but yes, I told them I thought you could go through with it and that I taught you once tried."

"Oh God," I feel sick I start breathing hard. This is something that I am ashamed of. I wish no one knew.

"Look, I'm sorry I told them but they reacted and decided to come to school and talk to you with Lane and figure out what to do about it."

"I told them that you were the same sister I always had and if they thought about kicking you out they would be losing two daughters today."

"Trina…"

"Tori you are my sister, I won't ever turn my back on you. They assured me they would never abandon you and we came to school." Trina looks at me intently waiting for me to tell her what happened in Lane's office.

"Dad was harsh, but I think he came around in the end. I think it's going to take time but I think we'll be okay." I assure my sister.

"Oh Tori, that's good," Trina gives me the sweetest hug and I return it, crying.

"Thanks Trina, I don't know what would have happened if you didn't talk to them."

"Tori, remember that I will always protect you."

We hear the Janitor's Closet door open. Jade sees the both of us hugging and takes a step back to leave but Trina stops her and tells her to come in.

"You better treat my sister right Jade, or I swear I'll pull your heart out." Trina warns her in a strong tone.

"I love her Trina, I would never hurt her." Jade doesn't mock or yells, her concern for what is happening shows.

"Good, I'm here for you two okay, no matter what," Trina smiles and says goodbye to go to class.

"What did just happen? How did she know? Did she read the letter? What did Lane want? Does she know nobody like her?" Jade asks all the questions at once.

"She knows, she read the letter, Lane took me to his office to talk to my parents and Jade, please don't talk about my sister that way."

"I'm sorry Tori, I couldn't help myself. Well, what happened?"

"It was rough but… they want to have dinner with you tonight."

"You told them about me?" She asks surprised.

"Yes, can you come?"

"Of course… I hope that your Dad doesn't pull his gun on me."

"I also hope he doesn't," I laugh and lean in to give my girl a kiss.

"I love you Tori."

"I love you too Jade."

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**A/N I really liked writing this story. The letter is actually the letter I wrote to my parents when I was thinking about coming out. Unfortunately I never gave it to them because I got caught kissing my girlfriend goodbye, hahaha.**

**Tori's parents reaction was pretty much my parents reaction, but without Lane and not in one session but in many, many weeks.**

**I hope you liked it and that you take a minute to review.**

**Thanks for stopping by.**


	2. Dinner

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.**

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I'm sitting in class one row behind Tori and two seats to her left. I wonder what tonight really means. Tori just came out with her parents and they invited me to dinner at their house.

I won't deny that I'm nervous, I never imagined that just two months after we started dating I would have to introduce myself as her girlfriend with her parents. I think it's too early to have such a serious relationship. I mean, Tori and I are fine like this, it's the two of us, we don't have to answer to anyone. Everyone knows about us in my house and they are supportive and if we want some privacy we go there.

Tori and I talked a bit before leaving the janitor's closet. She made me promise that I would behave and avoid any confrontation with her family. I hope not to disappoint her; my temper is very volatile, I know.

Now I stare at her and remember what I started to feel when I used to look at her from this seat a few months ago only. I thought I could hide my feelings treating her like crap and pretending that I hated her, but I really couldn't resist her silly smile and her haunting voice; what I hated most was to participate with her in Sikowitz's plays where I had to be her wife or husband because it reality unnerved me saying _I love you_.

I hide my emotions very well with people, but the truth is that only Tori and Beck have the privilege of knowing my soft side.

I'm worried about tonight. She wants her parents to have a good impression of me. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my temper down if I see her like she has been for the last few days, depressed, hurt, confused.

I love her, I just want her to be happy, to have that incredible smile that accentuates her cheekbones. Those I fell in love with.

I'm also nervous because I know the Vegas, I've been in their house many times before and since Tori and I started dating, but this time is different, I'll be there as her girlfriend. I'm sure they think I drove her to this, that perhaps I forced her, after all I'm the bad girl and Tori is the perfect daughter. I don't know, but I'm sure they blame me.

I look at her and I only see a broken girl, she is probably more scared than I am. I need to be strong for her and do what she asked of me.

Finally school is over. Usually I would've given Tori a ride home and talk about our day but Trina wanted to make sure Tori didn't arrive home alone, so we part ways at the school parking lot.

"Everything will be all right Vega, I'm sure," I look at her and smile, I can't help it, I love Tori. I walk over and give her a little kiss before they get in Trina's car and go home.

I enter my car and make my way to the flower shop. I really don't know what I'm doing, it's not my style to arrive anywhere with a gift but I really wanted to please my girlfriend and make a good impression.

Holly, Tori's Mom, has an extensive garden that she keeps very carefully, so I think I could please her with this little detail. I carefully seek a plant that I haven't seen there, something that makes clear my interest in carrying the party in peace and show my respect for her and her home.

After searching, not less than forty minutes, I buy a nice potted plant, a Peace Lily that the florist recommended. According to her it helps to harmonize conflicts and heal negative places, people and relationships. I hope so or I'll hammer one of my fingers.

I leave that place and head home in a rush to prepare for tonight. I drive in automatic mode, I don't even know how I got here, I kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong and looking for ways to keep my composure.

I go straight home in automatic mode; I don't even know how I got there. I must find a presentable outfit for dinner tonight. Ugh, I really don't want to go. If it wasn't for Tori I wouldn't even think about it.

I get out of my car and enter home leaving the plant somewhere there. I go straight to my room, I have to find something presentable to wear at dinner. Ugh, I really don't want to go, if it wasn't for Tori I wouldn't even think about it.

Every minute feels like an hour, I just want this night to be over already. I need everything to go back to normal.

"Jade, sweetie? Are you okay?"

"NO!" I yell as my first instinct, I take a breath and answer nicely. "Yes Mom, I'm just nervous."

"What happened is everything all right?"

"Tori came out to her parents today and they asked to have dinner with me tonight," I sigh deep and sit on the edge of my bed.

"How did they take it?" My mother asks worried.

"I don't really know, she just asked me to try and make a good impression with her parents, we didn't have much time to talk."

"Oh, so the nice plant in the kitchen is for Tori's Mom?" Mom asks me with a smile, showing her pride for me.

"Yeah, am I trying too hard?" I ask anxious, I don't know how to behave in this kind of situations.

"No baby, I think it's proper given the circumstances."

"Don't call me baby," I answer sharply, I hate this kind of _loving words_ unless they come from Tori.

"Why are you so worried Jade?"

"Because Mom, I have to be perfect for Tori tonight and I don't know if I'll be able to meet her parents expectations. They already know how I'm like."

"Jade, you are perfect. You don't have to pretend, just be political about it," my Mom and her helpful suggestions I roll my eyes at her.

"For God sakes you are an actress if you feel you can't handle the situation fake it. Try and keep your word to Tori, but if you have the need to speak your mind, do so politely."

"I just want this night to end already," I complain frustrated, this is almost my worst nightmare.

"I know, and it will soon enough, remember you are not going there for yourself or to prove something to them, you are there to support Tori," she kisses my forehead and takes my head with her hands forcing me to face her.

"Jade if you need me at any time, call me right away. And if Tori needs a place to stay bring her back."

"I will, thanks Mom," I watch her leave my room and I whisper. "I love you."

"More than The Scissoring?" apparently she heard me.

"Don't push it!" I smile at her and I see get lost in the corridor.

I can't believe how far she has come. When she caught me kissing Sophie, after one of the many break ups I had with Beck, she lost it and was harsh for a couple of months.

Little by little she has turned around her feelings about me being Bi and now she and I have become much closer. I know I can trust her and have a safe place at home. My mom really likes Tori, has told me many times, She knows I'm calmer since we got together, I'm more stable and less volatile.

_buzz buzz buzz _(I receive a message)

Tori - _Hi :D_

Oh! My corny girlfriend and her smilies, she always manages to change my frown and make me breathe easy.

Jade - _Hi Babe, how is everything?_

Tori - _Good I guess, I'm really nervous._

Jade - _I know, me too. But don't worry everything will be okay!_

Tori - _There is still a couple of hours until you get here. I wish you were here already._

Jade - _I can go now if you want me to._

Tori - _No! I don't want to force things… I just wish._

Jade - _I know Babe, me too. _

Tori - _I feel strange, this morning in school I thought everything was going to be better but we got home and Mom and Dad have been really weird._

Jade - _It's normal, it will feel weird and bad for a while, but it will get better with time._

Tori - _I hope so, I think I made a mistake. I shouldn't have done anything._.

Jade - _Tori stop! It's done and you can't turn back time. We have to deal with this and you are not alone._

Sometimes Tori is a bit frustrating, of fixed ideas. I always have to remind her to look forward and leave the past in the past

Tori - _I know Jade, I'm sorry._

Jade - _There is nothing to apologize for. Try to sleep a little I'll be there soon enough._

Tori - _Okay ):_

Jade - _Don't be sad it will be okay. ILY_

Finally it's time to go to Tori's house. I get in my car with my incredible gift! God, can I be more sarcastic, they'll hate it anyway.

I park right outside and make my way to the door. I hesitate for some minutes, I swear if it wasn't for Tori I wouldn't even thought about coming for dinner with my girlfriend's parents and her crazy sister. Although, I have to admit that today Trina wasn't as obnoxious as she always is. She was taking care of Tori and that is something I appreciate.

I'm about to ring the bell and Tori just opens the door and comes out.

"Hey… I saw you parking your car."

"Hey Babe."

"So, do you want to run away? 'Cause you still can."

God she is so adorable, how can I not be here for her.

"Let's just get this over with, it's time."

Tori opens the door and we walk in.

"Jade, you are early," David, Tori's Dad says from the kitchen.

"It's better than being late," I answer trying to make conversation. This is uncomfortable enough as it is.

Holly walks towards me and says _hello_ in a very straight tone. I can't tell if she is mad or just disappointed.

"This is for you, I thought you would like it. I haven't seen these in your garden."

I give my gift trying to be as nice as I can.

"It's beautiful Jade, thank you," she turns and gestures David before heading out to the garden to put the plant somewhere.

Ugh, this is going to be a long night. I look everywhere trying to concentrate on something and relax. I notice that the Vega's fireplace is full of orange candles. I didn't notice that before. Or the coffee table resembles a picnic bench table over that colored circles carpet. Tori's house has a modern eclectic touch but everything blends nicely.

"Dinner is almost ready, why don't you take a sit," David says, pointing with his free hand towards the red couch.

Tori and I just stare at each other. We decided not to be so upfront tonight and we agreed not to hold hands or kiss in front of her parents, at least until we see how they react. We sit in silence. I am tempted to take the remote control and turn on the TV just to fill the place with noise and break the tension.

I hear Trina walking down to the living room and sitting right next to Tori and I. Without even saying hello she begins to babble.

"So, did you hear that the woman from the Chinese Restaurant opened a new place called Nozu?" Trina says settling into the couch.

Why is she talking to me as if I care?

I turn to Tori and roll my eyes, but she signals me to play along. Okay, I get it Trina is trying to help. Fine! I won't be mean to her tonight.

"I heard, but I'm still curious if she is Chinese or Japanese," I say casually. I remember my mother's words, _be political_.

"I know right, I think we should go one of these days, see if the sushi is actually good," Trina continues.

"Sure, we should make a night out of it," Tori includes herself to the conversation and hugs her sister.

It's sweet to see Tori so caring with her sister. Oh, everything about her is so adorable and every time I think about it I want to go find a car door to hit my face with.

"Okay girls, please come to the table, dinner is ready," Holly says as he settles into her seat.

Take a deep breath, giving myself strength for what is to come. I'm sure that there will be awkward questions and I'll have to answer with a smile. We stand up and sit down at the table. Holly and David sit on the end of the table right in front of me, Tori by my right and Trina to my left. God this feels like a final judgment.

"Please go ahead and serve yourselves," Holly says.

We are surrounded by silence while we serve ourselves the food, Trina pours juice into our glasses and we start eating.

Her parents are very serious but not nervous, I could say that they are angry. Tori looks at her plate, I only look at her, Tori's parents look at me.

Yeah, long night!

"Mom I need you to come with tomorrow to buy the outfit for the Full Moon concert," Trina says breaking the silence.

"Sure, but you know it will be after I get back from work. I hope this time you're ready and don't make me wait."

Tori is so nervous, I see her move her food with her fork as if trying to focus on putting a picture together on her plate. I look up and I find David staring at me doing exactly the same with his meal. Like Father like daughter, there is nothing to do. I lower my eyes quickly; I don't want him to think that I am defying him.

"Jade, so you and Tori are... Hmm hmm…" David clears his throat before continuing. "Together now?"

"Yes" I answer without hesitation.

"Since when?" I see him put his elbows on the table and join hands in one fist.

"Emm," I don't know what to say. I haven't cleared this with Tori.

"Dad please," Tori whispers, by her tone of voice I feel she senses that something is coming.

"You are dating my daughter but you don't know since when?" He asks again, this time suggesting that our relationship is not important to me.

"Two months," I respond quickly. I regret doubting the first time he asked.

"Good, at least you didn't lie," He responds returning to his plate.

Oh, crap! What is going on? This feels like an interrogation.

Tori looks at me and quickly closes her eyes as if trying to encourage me and asking again to keep my composure.

I don't quite finish one more bite when David begins again with the questions.

"Are you two having sex?"

What? I choke and start coughing immediately.

"Oh my God, Dad, what is wrong with you?" Trina asks surprised by that question.

"You don't have to answer that," Tori tells me, she is so stressed and embarrassed, I can see it in her face.

This definitely feels like an interrogation with Tori and Trina as my lawyers and Tori's parents as Judge and Jury.

"Trina this dinner is not about you, please don't interrupt," her Dad warns her, she doesn't know what to respond.

"You are not going to lie to us right Jade?" he stares straight at me, looks like he wants to kill me. What could have happened since the morning? Tori told me at school that all ended with a big hug.

"I'll answer any question you have, except things about _our_ private life," I stare back at him. He might be Tori's Dad but I won't let him disrespect us and I'm not easily intimidated.

"Fine Jade, then tell me this, what intentions do you have with my daughter?"

Oh shit! Intentions? I love her but intentions? For God's sake we have been dating 2 months! What does he expect? A white picket fence, 2 dogs, a cat and God knows how many children? We are 17!

"I love Tori," I start. "But I really don't know what you mean about intentions."

"Jade, please, you know exactly what I mean. You are not the type of girl who settles with someone and has a constructive relationship."

"Excuse me!" I say in surprise. This is getting out of hand.

"Dad! Stop, I'm not going to let you insult my girlfriend," Tori raises her voice, I don't know what to do at this time. Everyone is losing control.

"Mom aren't you going to say something?" Trina asks frustrated.

"Trina please don't get in the middle of this," It's pretty much all Holly has said tonight.

"Come on Jade, let's be honest, you are not the type of… person we want Tori to end up with," David continues to insinuate I'm not good enough for Tori.

Yeah, I've thought about that before, but you know what? I am. I might be a mean girl to most people but I also excel at school, I have many talents and also a promising future. I have never been unfaithful and I don't play around. I'm not a bad catch after all and that is not something they can't dismiss.

"I'm sure I'll never meet your expectations, but fortunately that is a decision only Tori can make," I say lowering the tone of the conversation.

"We are Tori's parents and we also decide who she dates while she lives under our roof," he takes a deep breath. "Neither Holly nor I think that a girl that gets our daughter drunk at a college party is someone that we want her to have a relationship with."

WHAT? I fully open my eyes unable to believe what I just heard. How do they know about that party and why the hell do they think I got her drunk?

Now I understand why they are so upset, they think I hurt Tori. Of course I would be upset too, but they are wrong, I had nothing to do with what happened that night.

I turn to see Tori closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"How could you?" Tori mumbles angrily to her father.

"How could we not? We were concerned that you were thinking about hurting yourself, we just needed to know, we want to help you," Holly says.

What the hell is going on? I don't understand, how did they know about that day and what are they talking about Tori hurting herself!

"Those are my private thoughts, you had no right to read them," Tori raises her voice and looks straight at both her parents.

Holy shit! They read her diary. Tears fight to come from her eyes, I just want to hold her hand but that will only make everything worst right now.

"Jeez, you two disgust me!" Trina gives them an angry look I never thought she could have.

"What did you expect us to do, sit still while Tori might have been at the edge of doing something irreparable? We have to look out for her Trina," David responds worried but angry. Holly starts arguing as well, the three of them yelling things I can no longer understand behind all the noise.

I turn to Tori and see her struggling for air. She was having a panic attack.

"Tori, Baby, breath!"

She tries but all of the sudden I she starts to get sick and runs for the bathroom.

All the yelling stops and Trina runs after her. I stay because I don't know if I'll have another opportunity to give them a piece of my mind.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

They stare at me in owe that I would talk to them like that, but I don't care anymore.

"This is your daughter, you know? The same daughter you said goodnight yesterday, the one you picked up at the park while playing, the one that loves and adores you above everything else in the world!"

They have no words they keep quiet and I continue trying not to raise my voice, more than I already have.

"Mr. Vega you are a Police Officer but Tori is not a criminal. You read her diary and assumed things that never happened and then dare to accuse me of getting her drunk?"

"Our daughter is not the kind of kid that goes to colleges parties and gets drunk Jade," Holly starts.

"We read that someone got her drunk and took her to their room and then she writes about waking up in your house. It's pretty clear who did what Jade," David stares waiting for me to defend myself.

I don't know what does Tori's diary say, but I am sure she wouldn't blame me for what happened. They must be so worried that they sought someone to blame and it ended up being me.

"Do you even know why Tori got drunk that night?" I pause for a second. "She wanted to come out to you and when she mentioned something about gay people you responded that _fags_ are destroying the concept of family and a million more offensive things," I shake my head and breath to calm myself down. "She went to a college party a guy from school told us about, she went ALONE, and yeah for once your daughter started drinking like there was no tomorrow with those stupid boys," They don't interrupt, they just listen to me.

"She called me and I couldn't even understand what she was saying until she said party and I had a feeling she was there. Beck and I drove as fast as we could to get her and we found her laying in a bed in one of the dorms with a BOY who thought she would be a good story to tell. We got her out and took her to my house," I'm so angry at them right now! I try not to yell, not to disrespect them even more than I already have.

"I took care of YOUR daughter that night, while all those boys, you might think are a better than me, were only thinking on making Tori they toy for the night," I stop and see them anguished, but I could not be silent any longer. "I'm in love with your daughter, she is in love with me and THAT is enough, I don't need your approval I only need Tori to love me."

"Jade," Tori and Trina have been standing behind me since I don't know when.

I close my eyes; by the tone in her voice I know she is angry. I broke every promise I made today, but more important, I broke the one I made to her that night, that I would never tell anyone about what happened. I stand up and turn to face her.

"Tori… I," I can't even say I'm sorry, because I'm not; they needed to know.

"Please leave."

I look at her trying to find something that would let me know that we were okay. But I can't. I feel a sudden pain in my chest. She is serious, dead serious.

I swallow and close my eyes shaking my head in disbelief. I walk to the living room and pick my jacket not turning around and I leave that house, probably for the last time.

I get in my car and stay there, I don't know, maybe waiting to see if Tori came out, waiting for the possibility that I didn't just screw everything up between us. But she doesn't and I finally turn on the car and go home.

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******A/N Thanks for reading and thanks to: mouseforever16, Umm idk, Lushcoltrane, ScottyBgood, NotTooEmo, Invader Johnny, Masterkungfu2013 for reviewing and motivating me to continue the story.**

**I hope you liked this chapter, please let me know, take a second to review! Read you around!**


	3. Disappointment

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story. **

**A/N 30 seconds for a review?**

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**Tori's POV**

Mom and Dad are both shocked by what Jade just told them. This is something I never wanted them to know. It's the most embarrassing night of my life. Well, probably after this one.

I can't believe everything went so wrong tonight, I also never thought that my own parents would be so disrespectful with my things. To read my diary? God I'm so frustrated and angry.

"Tori, is all that Jade said... true?" - Mom can't help herself from asking, like there is still a small part of her that thinks her daughter would never put herself in a situation like that.

"Stop! You have no right to ask me anything anymore"

"Tori, we are your parents…" - Mom continues but I'm not going to allow them to do this anymore.

"No! You have no right! You read my diary, for God sakes you violated my privacy. And you broke your promise that you wouldn't treat Jade badly"

"Honey we thought she had taken advantage of you, that she is the reason you think you are..."

"What Dad? You think that Jade got me drunk and she convinced me to be Gay?" - I stare at them, they have no words, because that's exactly what they thought.

"Yes, everything she said is true. I went to that party, alone, after a 'nice afternoon' with you saying all the things a Gay kid longs to hear from her parents. I got drunk with those boys and you know what? There is something else that Jade didn't tell you" - If they wanted to know the truth then fine, I'll tell them.

"I went there with the sole intention of getting laid with a boy to see if I could finally please you, to see if 'they' could convince me I wasn't Gay" - I can see the sadness in their face, the disappointment, but screw it.

"Tori we…" - Mom and Dad say at the same time.

"Enough! Thank God I'm one of those drunks that calls the love of her life while she's still conscious enough. Yeah, I called Jade, who not only dropped everything and went to that house to get me but she took care of me when we were not even friends" - I notice I'm yelling and I stop to breathe for a second.

"That is the kind of girlfriend your daughter has. The bad girl who tonight broke many promises to me with the only intention of protecting me, while you sat there insulting her? Disrespecting us?"

By now they have their heads down, staring at the unfinished dinner plates. I'm done, I thought that tonight could be a good start but it simply broke everything apart.

"I can't believe I thought that confessing to you who I truly am was going to be better than what it was before, I was so tired of lying to you, of hiding Jade, of pretending I was happy here in this house"

"Tori, we clearly made a mistake, but all we wanted was to know what was going on with you. We don't want to lose you" - Dad answers with regret. Mom doesn't even look at me, she is clearly ashamed of what they did.

"You want to know what is going on with me?" - I run to my room and take my diary down. I go straight to the kitchen stove turn it on and start burning it right in front of them.

"There, all my thoughts are yours… and about losing me, you did that the moment you opened the first page of this notebook" - I drop my diary in the kitchen sink and go straight to my room without saying anything else.

I'm so angry right now, my parents have fallen so low, I can no longer trust them. My girlfriend just broke every promise she ever made. Great night, just great I feel betrayed by all of them.

I know I shouldn't have been so hard on Jade, but the truth is that if I had shown her one bit of kindness in that moment I wouldn't have had the strength to confront my parents. I needed to stay angry and put an end to all this nonsense.

Fine! I'm not the daughter they expected. Who cares? I didn't come into this world to fulfill the wishes of other people. I have to live my life, make my choices, fall and pick myself up. This is MY life and I will be happy with who I am, no matter how worthless my parents believe I am.

_Knock knock_

"Go away"

"It's me Tori" - Trina says from outside. I can't just leave her there, she has been a great sister through all of this.

"Come in"

"How are you?" - Trina gets in and closes the door behind her.

"Pissed"

Trina looks worried, she sighs and sits right next to me on the floor.

"I think Mom and Dad handled this horribly, I just hope that you know that, in the end, they acted out of love"

"Love? Trina, they just insulted Jade like she was a criminal and treated me just like one"

"Don't get me wrong, what they did was unforgivable, but I think that they were very scared of what I told them… you know about you hurting yourself… I shouldn't have, I'm sorry Tori"

"I haven't thought of that in a while now, you don't have to worry anymore" - I know she is scared, I have been too, specially that night I almost went through it. But I've been OK for months and I finally think I'm happy and clear from the all those thoughts.

"Tori, I know that you may not want to talk about it, but did something happened at that party?"

"Nothing happened, Beck and Jade arrived just in time, Beck hit that boy so hard he spent the whole week with an ice bag over his hand"

"When was this?"

"About six months ago, Jade knew they couldn't bring me home because Mom and Dad would go crazy, so Jade called pretending to be me and told them I was spending the night at Cat's"

"For how she used to treat you I wouldn't have ever thought Jade would do that for you" - I can tell the relief in her voice.

"I know, next day she made me tell her what happened and why I went there, I told her because she threatened to stab me with a pair of scissors" - I laugh just remembering, she wouldn't have, but Jade had the most serious face when she told me she would.

"I came out to her and after a couple of months later she came out to me. It took a while but we became friends. It was so easy to talk to her, you know, so liberating. I didn't have to explain myself and little by little we fell for each other"

Trina smiles at me, I know she is happy for me. I smile back; it's nice to finally be open with my family, at least with her.

"Did you ask her to be your girlfriend? Because I don't know why… I have the feeling you did"

"I didn't, remember the song she wrote for the Full Moon Jam? She ask me that night, right after her performance"

"Well little sister, I think that you have at least two people that will support and love you at any cost and one of them deserves a call from you and an apology"

Trina hands my phone, kisses my head and leaves wishing me goodnight.

_Flashback_

Jade was at the music room rehearsing for the Full Moon Jam, I decided to drop by and make her company until Trina picked me up.

The song she wrote was clearly about someone special, for sure it was for Beck, but I didn't want it to be. I had been feeling this nod inside me every time we spent time together. By then I was starting to like Jade as something more than just a friend.

Beck wanted to start dating again, but he was afraid that Jade would take it badly. I knew that the song she was going to sing could bring them back together so I decided to pay someone to ask Jade out on a fake date. That way Beck could ask a girl to the Full Moon Jam and he would be so distracted with his date he wouldn't pay attention to the lyrics.

My plan failed when the guy I paid backed out in front of Jade and confessed what I had done. I remember her being so angry about the whole thing; I even remember seeing her hurt. I apologized profusely, but she was just so disappointed at me.

The night was cold and I knew that at least part of my plan had worked, Beck was on a date with Meredith, unfortunately he was having a terrible time. We both approached the side of the stage and watched Jade perform.

I saw her singing to Beck, he was smiling and I was miserable. At the end of the song Beck approached Jade on stage and I ran to hide myself in the Janitor's Closet. I rested my back against the back wall and I started crying, I couldn't help myself, I was so hurt, I wanted Jade to be with me. I let my body slide to the floor and buried my head on my knees.

Suddenly, I felt a hand over my head and a familiar voice that spoke softly.

"It wasn't for Beck"

I lifted my eyes to meet hers and we smiled at each other, next thing we knew we were kissing and that was it. We became girlfriends that night. Nothing more to discuss, our lips did all the talking.

_End of Flashback_

It's nice to remember how things happened with Jade, because after all, I do have my fairytale outside all of this mess. I hope everyone does. A place or a person to hold you sane when life beats you down, I wish I had known my sister could've been that person for me all those years ago.

I used to think that Jade saved me form myself, but in fact she just helped me get through the pain I was feeling and I became stronger. Those emotions that got me so down, when all I could think about was how to ended it all, started to fade. Jade finally being my friend was my best therapy. I never told her about all of this, is hard to accept that you can get so low you could take your own life to stop the pain. She never knew until tonight.

I feel like I owe her an explanation and of course and apology if not many. I shouldn't have told her to leave like that. I reacted and I hurt her.

I see my phone and I have 5 missed calls from Jade and 2 voicemails.

_Message #1_

"Tori, I know I messed up tonight and that you probably hate me. I couldn't help it… I'm so sorry"

_Message #2_

"I forgot I love you, I mean I didn't forget that I love you, I forgot to tell you that I love you… whatever you are not going to listen to this…"

_Ring Ring_

"Tori?"

"I love you too… and I'm sorry"

"I thought you were mad at me because I told your parents about that night, I mean, of course you are but… I guess, I wasn't expecting you to call"

"I'm not mad because of that but because everything went so wrong tonight. And yeah I wish you didn't tell them, but I understand why you did"

"I couldn't stand it anymore. Your parents have always been so cool, now they are worst than mine, no offense"

"I know what you mean, anyway, I wanted to apologize. Yes, I was upset about you telling them but I guess that more than that I needed to stay angry to face them and I couldn't do that with you here. It was wrong of me to be so rude to you, I sorry Jade"

"I get it, so forget it, is done let's just move on. What did they say after I left?"

"Nothing really, I didn't let them speak much, I just lunched at them all that I was feeling and came to my room, they didn't come for me which I appreciate. I really don't want to talk to them at all for a while"

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"About what your Mom said…"

Oh man, I really don't want to have this talk over the phone. I wish she never knew, I don't want her to think of me as a weak person or as someone she has to take care of… or be afraid of.

"I know I never said anything about it to you and I should have, but I don't want to do it over the phone. Is that OK?"

"Sure Babe, do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?"

"Yes please! As early as you can, I don't want to face them yet"

"OK, I'll pick you up a quarter to 7 and we can go for a cup of coffee and talk. What do you say?"

"I'd love to Jade"

I yawn, I'm exhausted, today has been a roller coaster and everything is a mess. I want to sleep and let go of all this burden.

"You must be really tired, go to sleep and if you need anything Tori, please let me know, OK?, call me no matter what time it is"

"Thanks Babe but I'll be OK, I love you"

"I love you too sweet cheeks" - She let's out a small giggle. "Sweet dreams"

"Sweet dreams Babe"

We hang up and I stay for a few minutes just staring at the roof. Yesterday I was feeling so anxious about my parents and today was a mess, now I'm anxious about Jade, I hope tomorrow goes better than today.

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**A/N This will be a short story otherwise it will departure too much from the reality with which it started.**

**Thanks to everyone who left a review, thank you for the support.**

**And for those of you who left a review the following:**

**8haruka7**

Ya lo actualicé también en español, gracias por leer el fic.

**Masterkungfu2013**

Sorry for the cliffhanger but there isn't a better way to have you hooked. Hope you come back for the next one.

**Lushcoltrane**

I know in the end parents come around and support you, at least that happened to me, but it's a slow process and it comes with much grief. Thanks for stoping by!

**Invader Johnny**

Yes, Tori is hurt and it will take her some time to com around with her parents. I hope you like this chapter. I'm making time to start reading your stories; your bio is HUGE! Good luck with everything.

**mouseforever16**

Me too, I love Jade not playing the good girl in the end, even if she promised Tori, because in after all she was defending her. Hope to see you back here. (And thanks for reading my other story too n_n)

**Valley-10**

I hope you keep liking the story! I'll be updating each week. Thanks for the review.

**ScottyBgood**

Thanks you for reading, your stories a good, I'm reading them these days and will come back to leave reviews! I hope you continue this story and that you like it.

**ThatRandomAsian**

It was intense, but needed. Hope to see you back for the rest.

**BreakfastAtAriz**

Great! I hope that you keep liking it. Thanks for leaving a review.

**kelton89**

Here it was! Thank you for coming and reading the story, I hope you come back.


	4. Fear itself

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story. **

**A/N Hi everyone, thanks for coming back. I've decided to end this short story with one more chapter after this one.**

**I hope you like today's chapter.**

**30 seconds for a review?**

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**Jade's POV**

The soft blue light from the street enters my room hitting the wall right next to my bed. It moves with the shadows of the tree right outside my window, creating shapes I hardly understand. I lose myself thinking, worried, hurting…

I'm scared.

I try to remember a moment in which I saw her genuinely depressed or just sad for more than a couple of days; I can't.

Tori's always been the happy, perky, positive girl that accomplishes everything she sets her mind to, the joker, the helper; the girl that went off her way many times just to be my friend and the one I constantly rejected, pulled pranks to, insulted and pushed away; the one that until recently, I made sure she knew, I wasn't her friend and that I didn't even like her.

Now she is my girl, I see her smile everyday. I love that smile, and as I realize this, I find myself smiling too… smiling to the memory of our best days since that night I asked her to be my girlfriend.

I fear the thought of losing her, of not really knowing what goes through her head when she is alone. I can't imagine Tori ever trying to hurt herself and yet, she didn't deny it at dinner when her parents mentioned it.

Why wouldn't she tell me? What dark secrets she keeps from me? Will I ever know?

Silence consumes me right now, the soft sound of the wind caressing the leaves of my tree, is not enough to distract me from what I'll face in a few hours when we finally talk.

Is this a real threat? Did I miss the signs? And how did her parents know? Trina didn't seem shocked either, did she know?

I hate what they did to her when they decided to read her diary but, if I'd have known, I would've done the same.

Dark clouds fill my mind as I think over and over, what to say? What to ask? I don't even know how to feel because I have never gone through something remotely like this.

This has gotten way to complicated to deal with. Just two days ago it was us against the world, loving each other, having fun, and now everyone is involved, everything is a mess, Tori is broken and I… I'm unsettled. What if I'm not strong enough to handle what she has to say?

The shadows on my wall start to fade, the morning has come and I have to get ready to pick Tori up at her house.

I sigh deeply trying to give myself strength and I get up to get ready.

**6:45 AM**

I arrive at Tori's block and find her already waiting, sitting on the sidewalk a couple of houses down from her own.

She looks beautiful and nervous. Maybe I'm just projecting my own feelings, because I'm greeted with that incredible smile.

"Hey, everything OK?" - I ask as she accommodates herself and fasten her seatbelt.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to risk my parents watching me leave this early"

"Well?"

"Well what?" - Tori asks as I see her tense up.

"My kiss" - She lets out a smile and finally breaths reaching for my lips. Yeah, she is as nervous as me.

I start driving us to the Coffee Shop to have some breakfast and talk. I look at her from time to time and I notice her discomfort.

"How did you sleep?" - I try to make conversation and relax the mood around us.

"Good actually, I was so tired after not sleeping the day before that I crashed in my bed and fell asleep right away"

"That's good!" - At least one of us slept.

"You didn't huh? You look a little tired" - Tori turns to me for a brief moment before fixating her eyes on the glove compartment.

"Not much Babe"

"I don't want you to worry about this" - Her low voice is almost inaudible.

"I think that you can understand why everyone is so worried right?" - I ask her in a sweet tone, I don't want to scare her away.

"Everyone is making a huge deal out of this, I'm OK"

"Babe, do you want to go to a more private place than the Coffee Shop, so we can talk? We can skip school today" - I suggest, I don't think that a public place will help her at this moment.

"We can't skip school, Lane will call my parents and I'm already grounded" - Tori reminds me.

"OK, but then lets go to the viewpoint and talk for a bit before we really have to go to school" - I change the direction we were going and take us to a quieter place, straight up our school's street.

We don't say a word for the rest of the way there, I park the car and turn it off. The silence fills the air between us. I know I have to be the one that starts talking, Tori won't.

"Tori, I know you don't want to talk about this, but, I'm not going to lie, what your parents insinuated yesterday scared me" - I turn on my side to be able to look at her and lean my head on the seat.

"I know, but I don't know what you want me to tell you" - Tori stares at the floor of the car. I see that she doesn't want to face me.

"Is this something you contemplate?"

"I used to, I haven't in a while"

Ugh, I sigh. I didn't want to hear that. I wanted it to be something her parents made up.

"Tori… have you ever… tried?"

She doesn't say a word, but I don't want to push her. She brushes her hair with her hand and bites her lip. Her silence is my answer, if she hadn't, she would have said 'no' already.

"Can I ask why?"

"Everything, anything, nothing… I really don't know" - Tori starts talking, very slow and paused, trying to explain to me what drove her to think about taking her own life.

"When I was a kid I used to think my mother hated me, that she only loved Trina, she preferred her and she ignored me… I know now that's not really true, but that's how it felt then. I use to go to bed crying and then to school to be picked on by stupid kids that thought it was funny to call me a tomboy or make fun of me because I liked playing with boy toys more than dolls" - She breaths deep like she is trying to find strength to talk.

"There would be days that I would open my notebooks to do homework and find dirty drawings, courtesy of the class bullies, and I would have to spend the whole afternoon transcribing them not to get into trouble, hiding them from my parents" - She is lost in her memories now. I just look at her. I swear, I've never seen her with this look on her face, so lost, so weakened.

"When I was a kid, it was things like that. As I got older and finally understood I was Gay, it was everything about it… The hate my parents would have at the any mention of the subject, the jokes, the disappointment I used to feel for not being able to change it, the impotence of knowing all I wanted, may never come true… I was never going to walk down the aisle in my white dress with my father by my side, I would probably never have my own kids with my partner because that is physically impossible, and also the fact that I knew my parents wouldn't accept me, it was overwhelming"

"But Tori, everyone at one point or another have gone through these same things" - I don't understand how any of these can drive her to do something so extreme.

"I know Jade, I know that people have it way worse, that there are kids thrown out of their houses, that there are people starving, that in the world, millions of people die with cancer, of aids or what have you, I know... But depression doesn't work that way, you don't just compare yourself to others and say '_OK, I'll be happy today_' you know? That doesn't mean that all this little, meaningless things that surrounded me everyday, didn't make me feel so incredibly small and worthless that the only thing I wanted was to kill myself to stop the pain" - She says frustrated.

I close my eyes to avoid crying. There it is, she said it, she wanted to kill herself and she already tried.

The silence, once more, takes over. I feel so impotent because I have no idea how to help her. Tori closes her eyes and breathes in, she exhales and continues.

"One night… before I changed schools, I decided that I would just do it… I went to the bathroom and started to fill the tub. I warned everyone that I needed to relax so they would leave me alone. I had read somewhere that it would take from 30 minutes to an hour for me to pass out and…" - Tori stops suddenly and stays quiet for a couple of seconds. I try to control myself but I can't. Here is the girl I love about to tell me every detail of how she almost stopped existing, and I couldn't keep myself from crying my eyes out.

"I got inside and I took the razor in my hand and stared at it for what it felt like forever… Every time I would get close to my wrist I pulled away quickly, the thought of watching my blood dissolve in the water… was surreal"

I wipe my tears with the border of my sleeve and cover my lips with my fingers. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I would've never imagined.

"It took me over an hour and a half to get through the first layer of my skin… I watched how a few drops made their way into the water and then it stopped… and I realized that it would take a lot more than that finish it all… I knew then, that I wasn't going to be able to do it" - Tears run through her face as she keeps telling me all of this.

I continue crying as well, this hurts to much.

"I think that I purposely failed my driver's test because I was scared… of how easy it would have been"

Oh God, how many ways of doing this has she thought off?

"I could unbuckle my seatbelt and drive straight into a post, or down a cliff" - I look at Tori shocked about this, she shakes her head as she was shaking those thoughts away.

"But things change Jade, I haven't felt like that in months and I don't want to think about it anymore"

"Tori, when was the last time you felt like this?"

"It doesn't matter anymore"

"Tori… just tell me" - I beg of her with a broken voice.

"Probably about a year ago, this isn't like an addiction Jade, I don't count the good days"

I'm so afraid of what can drive her to have this thoughts, of whom could… if I have.

"Tori, did I… did I ever push you to it?"

"Jade… please don't"

"Tori, I need to know!"

"Why? So you can beat yourself up for things you couldn't control?"

"So I have" - I admit with regret. How could have I been so blind, so careless? It doesn't matter that I didn't know. I was a fucking idiot.

"No Jade, this isn't about you or anybody else, and I don't live in the verge of a nervous breakdown"

"Not right now you mean, but what about this thing with your parents. Is this something that would make you think of doing it again?"

"It hasn't, and I'm not going to let it. Look, I know you are scared, I have been too, but things are not like before, and since everyone is so worried, I bet my parents will get me in therapy or something"

"I think that you should go even if they don't sent you. Why didn't you before?"

"That would have involved telling my parents and I wasn't ready" - Tori turns to finally look at me, "Jade, please don't start worrying about this… I don't want things to change between us or for you to start acting as if you have to take care of me. I'm OK"

"Tori, I am scared, I'm not going to lie to you. You are my life and I don't want anything to happen to you"

"And it won't" - She reaches my face and wipe my tears away, "Look, all of this is hard to accept, it's been though to confess and it's very hard to go through, but I promise to you, if these feelings come back, I'll talk to someone, OK?"

"No, not someone, talk to me! At the minimum doubt Tori. We'll face it together"

I will make sure she gets help, I don't plan on ignoring this and the one day regret it.

"How did your parents know?"

"Trina confessed to them that she knew about that night I tried. She wanted to scare them to help them see they had to deal with their feelings and accept me if they didn't want to lose me"

"She knew and she never said anything?" - This is incredible, why would she ignore this and not tell her parents? Stupid Trina, I want to kill her right now!

"She suspected it. She told me yesterday, but she didn't want to add more stress and kept quiet while she looked up for me in secret"

"Excuse me, but your sister is an asshole and I totally understand now why your parents did what they did"

"I know, but they still violated my privacy!" - She says with anger.

"To take care of you Tori! I would have done the same"

"Jade!"

"You may think this isn't something important, but it is! You could have died; you wouldn't be here anymore. Do you understand what that means? For all the people you leave behind?"

"It's crossed my mind"

"Promise me you will reach out to someone Tori, we will go to Lane and ask him to help us find a therapist and that you'll make an effort!"

"Fine, I promise"

"Tori, if you want your parents to trust you, then show them you plan on getting help"

She looks at me and smiles.

"You are a great girlfriend Jade and yeah, I promise, but you promise me that you wont start micro analyzing me every 5 minutes, OK?"

"You do have a great girlfriend, and I promise Babe"

I look at her again and she is now more relaxed and almost as she always is; my happy little Sweet Sally Peaches.

"I better drive us to school or we'll be late"

Tori leans in to kiss me before I turn on the car, I respond her kiss, feeling her warm lips and a sudden peace invades me for the first time in a couple of days. We'll be OK, somehow I just know.

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**A/N The next chapter will be the last of this short story. I hope you liked this one and that you take a few seconds to review!**

**Valley-10** I hope I don't leave you with to many questions. Maybe you should PM me n_n

**Samuraipsycho77** I have thought about it and maybe I will do something, either prequel or sequel, but we will see. I have another idea already in the works.

**ScottyBgood** I agree, Trina in the show is nothing more than comedic relief but I think that if it were a drama series she would be caring. I hope you like the next chapter.

**Lushcoltrane** Thank you for your review, I believe that Jade is a little out of character but it's because of the circumstances. Thanks for reading.

**Masterkungfu2013** I think Tori has a good support system no matter what the problems are. But I hope I can answer that question on the next and final chapter. Thanks for your review.

**Invader Johnny** Thanks for reading. I think that recovering from such a hurtful experience with her parents is going to be hard but they love each other too much to quit. Hope you come back for the final chapter.

**mouseforever16** Yeah, I liked to see that as well. Tori couldn't stay the frightened girl, even if it meant challenging her parents. Thanks for reading! n_n


	5. 10 Years Later

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story. **

**A/N This is the last chapter in this little story. I hope you like it. Here we go!**

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**Tori's POV**

I breathe the air around me on this very sunny California day. It's midday and I'm sitting on a bench enjoying the sun while I look at the most perfect girl in the world.

10 years have passed since we graduated high school, seems like yesterday.

I still remember all Jade and I had to go through when we started going out, when I finally came out of the closet, and also the first time I got help for my self-esteem problems.

I'm not going to lie, it was the most difficult thing I've gone through. After that talk with Jade at the viewpoint that morning, things got way worse before they got better.

My family was all over me all the time, of course they were scared I would hurt myself, but the intensity got the best of me. Jade sometimes would take my side and other times she would shift to theirs, it was exhausting. This probably lasted around 6 months of constant therapy and arguments; all of the sudden I was graduating and everything had changed.

I don't know exactly how it happened but my parents started trusting me more and giving me my freedom back; Jade relaxed and she actually became really dear to my entire family. I remember once my father came and asked about her because we were so busy studying for finals she hadn't shown up for days. He was worried we had broken up and he sat by my side on my bed and told me that he loved her very much and he hoped everything was OK between us.

Jade and I ended up having a dream relationship until we graduated and parted ways to College. Jade got a part on a Broadway musical right away, she also went to one of the best Universities in the country to study Creative Writing and Cinematography in NY. Her dream was always to become a great writer and producer.

I, in the other hand, stayed in L.A. because I got a record deal. I toured with both of my albums for 3 years before I could settle down again.

I wonder where Jade is now, we broke up about a year after graduating. Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. She would get so jealous and we would end up fighting every time we picked up the phone or had a video chat. In the end, even if we loved each other as much as we did, we had to let each other go, because the pressure and the pain was turning into hate and I wouldn't have been able to deal with Jade hating me.

It was a summer day and I was starting to get ready lo leave on tour, I was excited but torn by what it would mean for Jade and our relationship. I decided to call her and, from one moment to the other, we realized that too much has changed and that we couldn't keep trying and force something that just wasn't working anymore. I got really sad right then and asked her to give me a little time to process it before making it final, but I knew to well it was over. The next day I texted her and she asked how was I feeling. I texted back an '_I think you already have another ex_' and she texted a '_Yeah I think so_' and that was all, I excused myself because I was boarding a plane and that was the end of us.

It's sad to think that something that was so important to you, that you cherished with your life was over with a text in a matter of seconds. That moment will always be one of the worst memories I have of us. The indifference of it all, the lack of pain that I felt days, weeks and even months after that, reinforced in me the idea that there was nothing else to fight for. It was the right choice at the time.

We didn't really stayed in touch. Touring was extremely tiring and demanding. I had no time to do anything that wasn't work related. I distanced myself from my friends and my family, I didn't even had time to come home for the holidays.

I became depressed to the point of ending the tour abruptly 4 months before so I could go home and seek help. It was pointless, I have gotten so low there was so little anyone could do. It was then, that all the thoughts of Jade arose and I regretted ever breaking up. All the 'what ifs' filled my head with uncertainty. Years have passed and I didn't even know what became of her and my mind collapsed.

I took an entire bottle of sleeping pills one night, but right before they had any damaging effect I ran to the bathroom and threw them all up. I still had to go to the hospital and stay there until I got better and was released. It was one of the scariest nights of my life. What saved me that night? A letter Jade gave me on our last Valentine's Day. She was in NY working on her play and I couldn't travel to meet her. But the words she wrote stayed with me, and that night they brought me back.

_The Letter_

Tori my love,

Today I realized something that has been bothering me for quite a while.

See, I discovered what's this pain on my butt! And no, it's not you, it's this stupid arrow Cupid shot at me the day I met your eyes and knew I was in love with you.

Joking aside Babe, I have to say that these past year and some months have been the happiest of my life. No matter how hard things have been, I know you and me are meant for each other, and whatever life throws at us we will overcome anything and be happy in the end.

Tori, I want you to know that your life for me is precious and without it, this world makes no sense at all. I see how hard you try everyday to be the happy Tori we all know, but you don't have to pretend with me, I'll love you no matter what and will always be here for you, even if it seems I'm not.

Read this and you will find me, let my words reach you and breath, remember my voice as I say _I love you _because those words are only for you.

Remember that no matter how far it seems we are, we are on the same path and even if we get lost we will find each other.

So don't stop trying, wait for me, come back to me every time you feel like letting go, because somewhere out there, I'm thinking of you.

Happy Valentine's Day my Sweet Sally Peaches!

I love you, Jade

_End of The Letter_

Soon after that Trina gave birth to my niece Emma. I was 22 and she was the most wonderful gift. I left my house for the first time in weeks, and yeah, I mean weeks. I got to the hospital and Trina was already giving birth. She got some complications so Emma was placed right away on an incubator. My parents and I went to the gallery and stared at her, everyone was taking pictures and congratulating Mark, Trina's husband. I just stared at Emma.

She was so little, so defenseless, she cried and cried. Her tiny legs sprang out looking for Trina's belly and when she couldn't find anything to touch she would cry her eyes out until she tried reaching again. Emma cried for an hour looking for Trina as if her life depended on it, after all that time her body had drifted down and finally her feet touched the wall of the incubator and she stopped crying. I sighed as I watched her fall asleep and right then I promised myself I would never ever give Emma a reason to think it's OK to take your own life. I would never be that example, she was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen and she was going to be OK, I was going to be there for her always.

After that, I picked myself up and got real help. The therapist agreed that I was the best version of me that he had ever seen and I felt like I was given a second chance to make something off my life.

I enrolled in College and studied Music Production and Cinematography. There is where I meet my future wife Ana. I was on I high when I meet her, everything was going perfect for me, I was so happy and felt so good, it was easy to let people in, but Ana did more than that. I never really felt more alive as when she and I were together. She was so different from me, she studied languages and was a total wild card. We had a very quick relationship before tying the knot, it wasn't even a year since we started dating, which I should have known was not going to be the best idea ever.

We didn't really talked about things we wanted out of our marriage, and when I decided to bring the thought of starting a family someday, everything changed. She didn't want a family outside the both of us, she didn't want kids and it turned out to be a deal breaker. She was never going to change her mind and she started looking in other people what we had lost in our marriage.

I didn't want to keep appearances and stay with her anymore and I filed for divorce soon after I found her with her latest conquest right on my bed, and yeah it was MY bed because we had signed a prenup and it was my house, my manager's brilliant idea; I'll remind myself to send her another gift, I do it every time I remember this unfortunate event.

I gave myself a year to heal from everything and decided that I didn't need to have someone by my side to have the family I always wanted, so I started looking for a donor. It took me months to find the right one, but it was worth it.

I see my girl playing in this park on this sunny morning and I realize that all the choices I have made, since I had her, have been the right ones and my life is almost complete.

Now, I am a music and score producer for several major TV shows. I also write songs for other artists and have released two independent albums, which gave me the liberty of staying at home and be with my daughter.

There is something that, no matter how perfect my life seems to be, it's missing… Jade. I miss her everyday, I think of her all the time. If only I could see her again, know what became of her, if she is happy and got all she wanted out of life. I miss her; I miss us.

You might want to know a little about my daughter. Her name is Tade. Yeah, I know, weird name. I was going to name her Jori, but Jade and I were called that in school, so I chose Tade, also from Tori and Jade. Creepy right? No, not really; all I knew when I decided to get pregnant was that I wanted my kid to have certain personality characteristics. I searched and searched without luck, but when I met my donor I knew he was it.

Determined, strong willed, ambitious, sarcastic, and yes I loved that characteristic, he also had a good sense of humor and he was kind in his own way. Remind you of someone? Not only that reminded me of Jade, but he was this pale, blue eyed dark haired man, a real life's irony.

I chose the name Tade two weeks before giving birth, I didn't want to know if I was having a girl or a boy, so it seemed like a good unisex name. I also thought about the fact that I was giving my baby a little part of the person that helped me get by and the reason I'm here.

Tade is perfect and she looks just like Jade. Strong DNA and I'm proud of her everyday.

I see now the two loves of my life playing, running around and screaming with emotion. Emma is a great little helper, she loves Tade and is always around looking after her.

I get up from the bench and approach the cotton candy man to buy a couple of cones. It's getting late for lunch and we should get going.

As I turn around I'm greeted by my jolly 3 year old holding something in her hand.

"Tade baby, what is this?"

She hands me a beautiful kirigami star, but where could she have gotten this?

"Tade my love, where did you get this?"

She looks around and points to a woman walking away. "She said her name was Jade"

I open my eyes wide and stand up quickly as I look everywhere and see the woman leaving… yes, that's Jade, my Jade!

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*_kirigami_ is a technique of paper cut by scissors, it seemed perfect for Jade!*

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**A/N I know, evil. I didn't want to make this story longer for two reasons. One, I have a very heavy load of work and I might not have the chance to update the story which would only end up in abandoning it half way. And two, this started as a oneshot that I wanted to keep as real as posible to situations that many gay kids go through, I did that on the first 4 chapters and this last one is just closure.**

**I don't give up the idea of making a prequel or a sequel in the future. I hope you liked this short story and that you take 30 secs for a review! Thanks to everyone for reading and see you soon in other stories.**

**8haruka7** Thanks for your review! I appreciate it.

**Lesbiwriting** I hope that the ending was of your liking. Thanks for your review!

**Lushcoltrane** As always thank you for your review. I liked writing Jade in a more protective role.

**Mello Justice** Thanks! I hope you liked this final chapter as well.

**ScottyBgood** I think that a lot of Tori's dreams ended up coming true. Sometimes you see the future so unclear but later you see how the pieces fall into place. Thanks for your review!

**mouseforever16 **Thanks for reading and leaving a review I hope you liked the ending.

**Invader Johnny** Yes! I like writing Jade worried for Tori, after all Jade loves her.


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